The “Worst Tramp in New Zealand”

Location: Table Mountain Traverse and Mt Rowe Summit

Total Time: 13.5 Hours

Humidity: 85%

Weather: Partly Cloudy

Date: 15/03/2025

Author: Nick Clarke

Trampers: James H, James K, Nick, Sean T, Sean M, Aaron, Ankia,

Ben, Chris, Zoe, Nitesh, Satyam, Edel, David, Joe, Peter

The time was 6:45am, and the sun had yet to chase away the mists covering the Kauaeranga

Valley. The only sounds in the thick, cold morning were a smattering of birdsong, the barest

rustling of leaves, and the muffled chatter of sixteen members of AUTC.

Rousing them from the indescribable comfort of tents and sleeping bags (or in Aaron’s case,

not even that), was the promise of what the Wilderness magazine termed “The Worst Tramp

in New Zealand”. Sold the previous evening on promises of cutty grass, bush bashing for

several kilometres, and enough mud for a full spa experience, there was feverish excitement

for a day of misery. 

Phase One – It Begins

Everyone began the tramp in very high spirits, chatting and happy all the way up the Cookson

Kauri track. The titular tree was impressively girthy, as promised, proving an early highlight

of the trip, however, it was literally and figuratively all uphill from there. After bravely

retreating from a couple of wasp nests, we beat our way straight up a ridgeline and onward to

Table Mountain. 

Phase Two – To the Summit

Having followed this route for a while, we hit a sheer rock-face that was beautifully

illuminated by the mid-morning sun. This clearing in the bush offered us a brilliant view out

towards the Dairy Flats, and a slightly more intimidating one of Table Mountain’s bulk

towering over us. Actually navigating our way past this after a snack break proved intriguing,

and involved some rock-climbing that AURAC would have been proud of, as well as a brief

trust-fall by letting a tree support our full bodyweights over a pretty steep drop.

After another hour or so, we noticed a wooden stand with a heavy, metal box attached to the

top. Most of us had passed it without comment until Sean let out a very dramatic “I thought this was only a rumour!” and we all stood there as he revealed, of all things, a logbook. This

contained a number of very useful bits of information regarding the tramp we were doing, but

in the interests of being mysterious, climb Table Mountain yourselves if you want to find out

exactly what. The book signed, we continued in good spirits.

Phase Three – The Traverse

The terrain for this section was very challenging, and we had to push aside very sturdy

bushes, climb over many fallen, moss carpeted trees, and contend with vegetation so dense at

parts that we could barely see one another if we were more than a couple of metres apart.

Several of the trees that we had to clamber over were also rotting, which we often discovered

by falling through them.

We soon discovered that bits of the path on the map had been scouted out by some very

weathered yellow markers, although these often became intermittent to the point where we

would have to spread out and re-find the path every 10-or-so minutes. Aside from this and a

couple of other aids, we were left entirely to our own pathfinding skills. These somehow did

eventually lead us to Table Mountain’s unremarkable summit, but the entire traverse took 4-5

hours. Somehow, morale was phenomenal the entire way. Some masochism was involved.

Phase Four – To the Summit, Reprise

Unfortunately, sometime during the descent into the saddle before Mt Rowe, the markers led

us into deep bush, then disappeared. Unperturbed, we had a brief and highly academic

discussion where we came up with the theory that if we just headed uphill, we must

eventually reach the summit. Shockingly, this worked. This section of the terrain was the

most challenging, and think I that this could definitely be counted as bush bashing, however

it was much more like the bush was bashing us than the other way around. Rewarded by a

spectacular view from the Trig (disappointingly, as we had been promised no views at all and

so far had 3), and with everyone still smiling, we headed down via the Mt Rowe, Moss Creek

and eventually Pinnacles tracks. Although it was dark by the time we reached the bottom, we

were flying, the latter of these tracks being actually maintained, and we even saw a few glow-

worms just before the end.

Overall

Everyone was buzzing when we got back to camp, and honestly it was great fun. The route

we took involved some very gnarly bush bashing, in sections, but it was doable with experience. Going with a great group also made it much more fun, and even though parts of

the terrain were difficult, the mental aspect never proved an issue. In winter, with mud, it

would probably be a lot more miserable, but this is far from the worst tramp in New Zealand,

and I think we will all have very fond memories of it for a long time.