Taranaki Summit trip - Bloody Americans

Aurthor: Matthew Bassett

Date: 23-24th weekend. 

Saturday - 0400hrs. We set off in Aaron Jackson’s trusty Corolla, doubling as both group transport and portable smoke machine, burning enough oil to fumigate the surrounding area, scare off tourists, and significantly reduce our own lung function prior to our ascent.

As we arrived at Dawson falls visitor centre, we were just grateful to arrive in one piece and smell fresh air. Once we had recovered, we looked in the distance and there it was, Mount Taranaki in all its glory, greeting us with sublime conditions, blue sky, not a cloud in sight. After approximately 10 minutes of walking, it became clear our fitness levels ranged from “I’ve climbed the pinnacles once before” to “I’m a Nepalese sherpa”.

Meanwhile, hydration management was led by Aaron Jackson, who heroically stopped to pee approximately every 20 minutes, overloaded by his potent hot raro elixir. Taranaki is now tinted a unique shade of yellow due to his heroic efforts. Despite Aarons regular irrigation and the varying levels of fitness, we still managed to reach Syme Hut by mid-afternoon. As we cooked dinner, we were treated to one the most spectacular sunset views of Taranaki, clothed first in warm yellows, then oranges and finally reds as the sun disappeared below the horizon.

The next day, we woke up at 0400hrs for Ashwin’s “alpine start”, but however due to the exceeding levels of faff, we only began our final ascent at 0600. With a second day of perfect conditions, we made good progress to the crater rim as the sun rose. The final push to the summit from the crater, however, was slightly more eventful, faced with a steep ice-climb.

Despite being equipped with walking ice axes and the bluntest snow school crampons you’d ever seen, we remarkably managed to scale the ice without injury and were greeted by the clearest 360-degree panoramic views of the North Island you’ve ever seen. The descent was fast but unremarkable, with Ashwin cracking the whip citing his need to get home for a cold shower beer. Everything went uncharacteristically smooth for an AUTC trip, with us arriving back without any injuries, major social discourse or nudity – what a trip!