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Alternative Endings

Updated: Nov 14, 2021

Date: May 19th-22nd, 2018

Leader: Daniel Nogueira

Participants: James Judd, Nicola Tuckey, Amy Tuffnell, Julian Joneck, Daniel Nogueira Location: Tararuas

Illustrations: Michael Berry

James did 3 push ups, got whiplash and his head rolled off.

A PLB wasn’t in the vicinity and the trip was cancelled.

James picked the PLB up and took it to work before the trip, leaving it on his desk. One of his colleagues thought it was a radio and went to lift the antenna…

that was when the PLB was set off.

The group was learning to juggle beside the Arateatea release with pinecones It turns out that if a pine cone is thrown high enough, it can fall onto Daniel’s head, knocking him unconscious and making him fall into the rapids. That was when the PLB was set off. Sitting in a cafe testing Daniel’s reaction times, which started with dropping glass water bottles, ended with knives being thrown at him. That was when the PLB was set off.

A bone saw was purchased and used.

That was when the PLB was set off.

Three people returned from the trip, well fed. Lunch was being prepared in the boardroom when Julian slipped while cutting some cucumber and his pocket knife pinned James’ other leg to a swiveling seat.

That was when the PLB was set off.

The group had an accident and ended up in Palmerston North hospital where Nikki met them in the ER and was then able to set the PLB off so that they could be found.

James found a precarious position to juggle from when he slipped and lost his balls. The PLB was set off as James disappeared into the distance chasing after his balls.

To this day we do not know if James found his balls.

James walked over a very slippery bridge. This bridge was so slippery that everyone else had warned each other about it James decided to look at the stars. He slipped and fell on his back, then fell off the bridge.

They searched for his body in the river and then set off the PLB.

Daniel was walking in the middle of the night

Flowers and mushrooms caught his sight

He stood on what he thought was a step

Then realised it was a 150m drop he experienced a falling sensation.

Nicola had to chase James down and they set off the PLB.

James went naked into the bush to chop wood.

James accidentally cut the wrong wood.

They heard the shrieking from the hut.

Nicola managed to fix the issue by attaching her shewee,

but in the process James got hypothermia and died.

The PLB was set off.

James also tried the Apple Crumble He exploded with Happiness. The group ate his his remains They contained traces of apple crumble. They too exploded… The remnants went everywhere.

Amy made Apple Crumble, however Julian had eaten very hot Horopito leaves earlier in the day. Julian could not get the full taste

experience as his tongue was numb.

The PLB was set off.

It was dark the group turned on strobe lights and music They started partying. After a couple of hours a drug dealer came up offering them all cocaine they got high. The group decided they could fly and jumped off the top bunk beds, landing on the floor. One week later a group of trampers came across the group lying on the floor of the hut. That was when the PLB was set off.

The group was walking above the bush line when a gust of wind came along and got in behind Daniel’s Pack Cover which ballooned like the spinnaker on a yacht, filling with air and propelling the bag cover into the distance. Daniel chased after it, but as he did so Kim Jong-un finally declared war on the USA. At the same the coordinates for his Nuclear Missile were accidentally entered incorrectly and the bomb landed on the bag cover in the vicinity of Daniel. The rest of the group were unharmed, and Dr Tucky declared Daniel Dead.

The PLB was set off.

The trip ended.

Up above the bushline where the wind was strong and there was fun to be had. Nicola and Amy were being blown away when they realised they could anchor themselves to each other by crossing their hip belts over and facing each other. They noticed that this created an invincible zorb-like structure. They managed to start rolling and their packs protected them from the rocks. Meanwhile James decided it would be fun to jump off a cliff with his pack on.

Nicola and Amy used the zorb method to get to the PLB and set it off.

The trip ended.

It was very windy above the bushline and the group decided to use their raincoats as parachutes and glide their way down to the hut.

The initial gust made them airborne

but it soon died out as they came into the windshadow of the opposite valley,

and they found themselves in sink. They plummeted and died on impact.

The trip ended.

Amy and Nicola were Prancercising down a hill. They were also becoming worried that they couldn’t find James as he had disappeared after putting on his camo jacket. In actual fact, James was hiding in ambush in a tree above them. James sprung from the tree and took them both out. He had jumped with so much momentum that he was out of control. He slid down the hill, off a cliff and died. Julian and Daniel were at the hut and had no idea what had happened. The next day Julian found James’ body and pack whilst collecting some more firewood and set off the PLB. He returned to wait inside the warm hut.

That was the day both Daniel and Julian got a free helicopter ride together.


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