Some Amusing Quotes.....

I thought these were worthy of a wider circulation....

“Digital penetration . . .” – A certain somebody shares a little too much information about their sex life, Nelson Lakes.

“Am I too clingy, d’ya think, Jim?” – A former member of the club after encountering said somebody on their Nelson Lakes trip . . .

“You may only hit the driver if we’re travelling below 50km an hour.” – Andy, Three Passes.

“Act your age, why don’t you?!” – A Hokitika motorist takes a surprisingly antagonistic view towards piggyback rides . . .

“It’ll only take us half an hour from the road end . . .” – A sorely mistaken Craig, Three Passes.

“I want to take that cleavage home, it’s so amazing!” – Geology nerd Charis, Three Passes.

“If you were an otter in a zoo, I’d come and give you fish.” – Andy, Three Passes.

“We still climbed three passes, ok. . . Harman, Whitehorn, and then back to Harman . . .” – Kat, One-and-a-bit Passes.

“My head feels kind of fuzzy . . .”
“That would be because you’re drunk, Charis.” – Charis and Kat, the first night out from Three Passes.

“Meeting descends into chaos, and it is agreed to reconvene at Forde’s . . .” – Minutes, 27/04/09.

“I still can’t understand why Andy wouldn’t get naked with me.” – Anton, after a caving trip down a manhole.

“No, they were definitely Anton’s buttocks. Andy’s are more sort of bouncy . . .” – Tony, Progressive Dinner.

“You’re not actually going to bite my toes are you?” – Kat to Anton, Progressive Dinner.

“Interjection from Alpine Officer, expressing his disgust over Captain’s failure to provide adequate quantity of tea. Brief pause whilst Safety Officer is dispatched to brew more.” – Minutes, 07/06/09.

“Relevance of Treasurer’s ‘worthless babbling’ called into question by Captain. Treasurer’s babble was agreed by Treasurer to have no value whatsoever.” – Minutes, 07/06/09.

“Committee receives intelligence that Hut Officer will be here at 8.00. He is waiting for beer to cool . . .” – Minutes, 07/06/09.

“On the topic of romance, where exactly did you get that interesting mark on your neck?” – Jaimee to Lizzie, Whirinaki.

“We faced the wrath of Caradhras!” – Rion, Umakarikari.

“There are no rhinos in the mountains.” – Famous last words from Nick Gulley, Umakarikari.

“And then they had hot tree sex.” – Rion explaining the intricacies of where Cabbage trees come from, Umakarikari.

“You would just have to roll me up the hills.” – Charis, Advanced Snowschool.

“Does anyone need some more wine?”
“Yep. If Rob’s going to teach again I’m going to need to fall asleep.” – Rowan and Rion, Advanced Snowschool.

“Made with wine from France, Chile, Australia, Argentina, Zimbabwe and New Zealand.” – Definite quality from the cask on Advanced Snowschool.

“We’ll just have to squash into the cave and have a big orgy to keep warm.”
“That’s the best idea anyone’s had all day.” – Anton and Kat, Advanced Snowschool.

“There’s about room for one person curled up into the foetal position” – Anton, of the snow cave on Advanced Snowschool.

“Oh, I just thought the moon looked pretty.” – Frosty, after hauling everyone out of their warm snow cave, Advanced Snowschool.

“I’m just going to lie on top of you and take my pants off.” – Rion, Advanced Snowschool.

“I had to wear my beanie way down over my face.”
“That cold, huh?”
“No, I just didn’t want to wake up looking at Joe.” – Harsh words from Captain Rion, Advanced Snowschool.

“Of course I’m right. I’m always right.” – Richard, May Camp.

“Bloody pansy climbers.” – Anton, just about anywhere.

“I’m a bloody pansy climber, ok?” – Patrick at last admits what we’ve known all along, Outdoor First Aid Course.

“I heard somewhere that if you stick a pocket knife in their throat . . .” – Jamie explains exactly how not to save someone from choking, Outdoor First Aid Course.

“Well, if they’re unconscious, you just stick a pocket knife in their stomach and spoon the sugar in.” –Rowan on how to raise a diabetic’s blood sugar levels in a hurry, Outdoor First Aid Course.

“So what went badly in that scenario?”
“Well, Kat died of a cardiac arrest . . .”
“He asked what went badly, Anton.” – Instructor James, Anton and Patrick, Outdoor First Aid Course.

“Woah... that looks stupidly epic!” – An impressed passer-by, Hut Birthday Party.

“You mean you want me to touch that thing?” – Peter Aimer, on unveiling the Life Members’ Plaque from beneath an old dishcloth, Hut Birthday.

“Mumified rat corpse, anyone?” – Craig, Hut Birthday.

“That’s not an onion, it’s a carrot. Can’t you see it’s red?” – Andy, Taranaki.

“Were you guys planning on getting out of your sleeping bags at all today?”
“Not so much, no.” - Craig and Andy, Ngaruhoe.

“Hey, Kat? Um . . . Just ringing to tell you that Tommy left his boots in our driveway . . .” – A decidedly unwelcome phone call from Anton, somewhere near Cambridge.

“Ooh yay! More hills!” – Tommy, Kawekas.

“I do find you kiwis slightly barbaric at times . . .” – Eric, after watching Tommy bash a possum to death with a stick, Kawekas.

“Secretary interjects in order to correct Treasurer’s grammar. Treasurer objects strongly to having his grammar corrected by the individual responsible for the proofreading of Footprints 2007....” – Minutes, 24/09/09.

“Still more confusion over what we are voting for. Secretary begins to crack up under the strain. Certain members of the committee find this highly amusing.” – Minutes, 24/09/09.

“When the lights are on, your pants are on.” – MUAC’s Hayden, Summit Lunch.

“Woah . . . that’s some impressive tongue action you’ve got going there.” – Ed to Andy, Summit Lunch.

-K2.